That is just who my GOD is :) Many times, I've grumbled and complained kasi hindi Niya binibigay ung mga gusto ko - it's as if I even have the right to complain. But one thing about Him, is that He pampers me pag nagtatampo na ako. Not really to 'pamper' me in its sense, but to remind me, that He is God, my God; He is in-control; He is my King and I am His beloved :)
July 28, 2011 I prayed na mag top 10 ako sa 2nd exam ko sa AENG 2. To quote what's in my devotion notebook:
"Lord, hindi na talaga ako masaya sa standing ko. God even right now I choose to excel for you. This is not what you want for me Lord. God, I am done limiting you! Lord, I am in faith...this is something that I cannot do on my own. God help me with this in the name of Jesus."
I prayed that prayer because I failed the first exam-57.3% Our passing rate is 60% I really felt bad with that result. I am one of the 3 people who failed in our class of 37. The exam was relatively easy. I actually expected na papasa ako. *maybe that is why i felt bad, that i prayed that prayer*
September 8, 2011, we had our second exam in that subject. The exam was relatively harder - it comprises 6 chapters. After the exam, the whole class was just down and sad. That moment *or even before I took the exam* I didn't remember asking God to part of the top 10 of the exam.
This morning, as I was about to start my quiet time, I flipped through my July 28 devotion and prayer. Suddenly I was reminded of my request to God, then inside my heart, I heard my heart complaining. "Lord, ano ba yan, pano ako magtotop eh ang hiraphirap ng exam." I even doubted the power of prayer, it's as if walang paki-alam si God sa acads ko. I felt bad, but I tried not to listen to my heart, because I know it was just playing tricks on me.
Then, during our AENG2 class awhile ago, our professor returned our exam paper. Before he did, I was full of worry and fear - "What if bagsak ulit ako?" Before he returned our papers one by one, he revealed to the class the top 10.
10 *its my seatmate*...9*i am so not in the top 10*...8*its my group mate in the lab*...7...6*another group mate in the lab*...5*bagsak na talaga ako*...4*CHESKA ARLA C. AGRUPIS* ---- I thought I was just imagining, but my name is actually there, its for real!
After that I prayed and thank God. Actually, nahiya nga ako kasi just this morning I doubted Him. But it's just aweesssommmeee.
Everything happens for a reason. The hard-er exam happened for a reason. I saw my July 28 prayer for a reason. And one thing I learned (or was reminded of) today, is that is God is God not according to my terms; He is God according to His terms so that in everything, His glory and goodness and majesty will be revealed...so that I will remember that He is God and I am not :)